Category: Personal

It’s Another Blogtober and I’m Already Behind! – Blogtober 2022

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

Yes, I’m doing this, yes I’m behind, yes I blame it on outside forces because why would I blame myself? /s (Thank God for backdating posts, lol)

But in all seriousness, it’s time for another Blogtober. This year I’m once again going to try to change things up a bit. This will (hopefully) be the month of reviews.

Over the summer and into the fall, I spent a lot of the time reading. No, I’m not joking, if I actually sat down and updated my Goodreads goal, I’d be much closer to my goal than I could have anticipated.

So my goal for Blogtober is to finally review those books that I read over the past few months, catching up and also updating Goodreads as I go. I will keep the total on the bottom current, so if I sneak in a book that I’ve just finished (say… Blood of Olympus, which I’m almost done with), it will have the current total, even if the review previous was ten or so before it, and the one for the next day might be the one after that. For example (because I can’t explain this in words), the three posts might be 8, 27, 9, or whatever the actual numbers are (no I don’t remember off the top of my head).

The only time this will change is for my August’s Writer’s Month wrap up (which will be later this month), and my 9-1-1 episode reviews and breakdowns (which will go up as soon as I’ve watched them, though they will probably remain a bit late). Oh, and one other post in a few days detailing one other thing I’m doing in October (that isn’t the thing detailed below).

Just a quick side note, don’t be surprised if a post is posted late at night. I’m also doing Whumptober as well, because stressing myself out is fun. I’m putting priority into that because AO3’s date switches over at 6PM my time, so I have to get that up first, then a blog post if I’m behind. I’m hopefully not going to skip too many days and have to play catchup on weekends.

That’s all for now. Back to writing and stuff.

Until next time!

Life Is Crazy, Pass It On

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

It’s been a while. A long while. Almost seven weeks to be exact.

Hi everyone. I’ve been meaning to write up a post about what’s going on, where I’ve been, etc. I really have. But real life obilations took over, along with writing burnout and just generally wanting to just take a very firm step back.

The past few months have been absolutely crazy. Work has finally exploded as I’m officially out of training and into my official probation period. Actually, as this post goes up, I will have been on probation for six weeks, halfway through. It’s been a real up and down process. I don’t want to go into too much detail, for privacy’s sake. I will say however, that while I come away every night exhausted, I also have a sense of fulfillment. I just need to get more comfortable with everything, and that comes with time.

On the writing front, I’m still knee deep into Writer’s Month, even though I am very very late in finishing. It has been a moderately successful month, though there have been some firm ups and downs due to rude commentors, as well as some unwanted attention from a group that I don’t associate with. By the end of tonight, I should only have four left to write, then I can quickly shift gears towards Whumptober 2022… which I haven’t even looked at yet. And I’m also planning on working on Nanowrimo this year if I can, which will be an amazing feat…

I’ve been reading on my breaks at work, slowly making my way through the Heroes of Olympus series. I’m on book four, House of Hades, my goal was to be done with both HoH and the finale by the middle of September, but as it can clearly been seen, I missed that by a bit. I just haven’t really had the time. If I can finish these last few fics, I’ll be able to spend an evening just knocking them out, hopefully.

And of course, the video game front. I’ll do a full Animal Crossing update one of these days (hint: I’m getting burned out here as well). But I’m also at 374 platinums and more than halfway done with 375, which is actually my third playthrough of Lego DC Supervillains! I’m playing the JPN version, which honestly is exactly the same as the North American and European versions, just with two buttons flipped. But it’s been fun to revisit once again.

As for 9-1-1… This is the big thing. Tonight was the premiere. And I didn’t watch it. I’ll be watching it tomorrow after work. I made this decision a bit ago, simply because I just wasn’t excited for this season. During the summer and leading into August, I realized that I just don’t see the show the same way others do. I don’t want to get too long winded, but I decided to just wait until Tuesday to watch it, to give myself a day. I managed to avoid most of the promos and articles, baring the first two or three brief promos, so I would know relatively little… Except that one: people on the internet are allergic to tagging spoilers (or even just tagging the fandom), and two: someone decided to be an ass and send me two comments on one of my fics that featured a breakdown of the two released scenes leading up to the premiere. I’ll be doing a post on this later on, but fandom etiquette is non-existent at this point.

So. Wrap up. I’m back. Real life and life away from this blog are insane. My migraines are back and I’m going to a neuro ophthalmologist as soon as the one I was referred to calls me back. Expect the post for 9-1-1 6×01 to be delayed another day. It’s all right.

Promise I’ll be on some sort of posting schedule again soon. Ish. Soonish.

Until next time!

Life Update: Where I Stand

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

Hi friends.

Before anything else, allow me to give a sincere apology. I had grand plans for June, and I failed at them. In fact, I think June has been one of my lowest posting months of this year, but with good reason.

So, let’s get into this. A lot of things have changed since my last post, and the situation is more fluid than I thought it was that day (and the day I posted that update).

Let’s start with the mostly controlled. My job. So, last Monday was my first in-office day (I only have to go in on Mondays). Surprisingly, it wasn’t terrible. I did discover that I cannot stand it, because it’s quiet, then people will have loud conversations and pull me away from what I’m working in. I’m also in the middle of an intense training course, which started on Monday as well. This means that I’m basically distracted from 8AM-4:30PM every week day, and I can’t check my personal stuff like I have been leading up to this.

On the downside, someone tested positive for COVID. Now, I have tested negative daily since my in-office day, but I’ve already complained again. Myself and one other in my group did the best we could to keep distance and wear masks, but it’s not required and most people weren’t. I’m still somewhat self-isolating just in case (until tomorrow). It’s a precaution that I probably don’t need to take, but it’s one that I’ll happily do to keep my family safe.

Now, onto the fandom bullshit. Yes, I’m calling it that, because it’s been a bit of a nightmare. I’m going to be a bit blunt, my apologies in advance.

Early last week, I was included on a list of “problematic” authors. This list was distributed amongst the entire 9-1-1 community on Tumblr. Surrounding this post was posts talking about everyone who was on this list, labeling us as racists.

I am not, or have I ever been, racist. To call someone that… No. It’s absolutely not true. And the fact that this stems from me not being a fan of a character of color… Apparently, if I hold Chimney Han to task for punching Buck, if he isn’t one of my favorite characters, then I am racist.

Being called this was soul-destroying. I’m not joking, I had a damn panic attack. What made it worse is that I found out in the middle of the work day (the Tuesday before my in-office day). And honestly, to top off this, I was called into a meeting with an HR representative, as they had seen the post (we’d previously discussed fanfic and fandom, so they had a passing knowledge of my usernames, freely given) and felt that I may have violated my contract. It was nearly an hour of defending myself, but I kept my job. What saved me was a post that said I was only on the list out of spite, because I toed the line (I abhor violence and would be against any character who threw the punch) and because I once kudoed one of the “problematic” fics.

I made the choice to delete my fics because I was afraid. I didn’t want to be bombarded (as I was already seeing others be). It was a horrific few days, and I thought, “this is it, I’m done with fandom. I can’t do this anymore.” It was only when people stood up to this, using logic to fight back against this wave of hatred, did I decide to repost.

Now, I do want to make something clear. I do think that people have stepped over the line in this fandom. Are they racist? I can’t be the one to say that. However, I can say that the way this group went about telling people, by putting out what can only be described as a target or hit list, and doubling down, targeting anyone who dared comment in support or kudo (whether or not they were aware of this group), they handled it poorly. They have stated clearly that they contacted the people who were on the list before it went live, “educating” them (their words). It was only when they received a negative response or no response at all did they release the list. (This is how I know I was added in the end. I received no communication what so ever. I checked all of my social media.)

Right now, I’m slowly getting everything reposted. For the most part, every story is getting a read through and a quick spelling and grammar check. Sometimes I’m adding a line or a word, nothing crazy. One had an ending change (which, I should note, was something I was planning on working on during my next three day weekend; this just gave me an early opportunity). And a few are going up untouched. Each one now has a clear message at the end of it:

“This work has been reposted by the original author. Please do not link to this fic or put it on a recommendation list without the permission of the author. Do not add this fic to any discord, no permission will be given. Comment moderation is on. If you have any issues/problems with this fic, or any other that I have written, my Tumblr DMs are open for discussion.”

As a result of me doing all this reposting (it will end up being approximately 100 fics all told, as there are several that I just don’t really like so they probably won’t return), my plans for the beginning of the month are going to be delayed. My kudo project update (which has returned with everything being reuploaded) will be delayed until next week, as well as my book, video game, and tv check-in posts. There are a few other things I want to talk about in the coming weeks as well. Hopefully by Monday (the 4th, which I’m not celebrating for good reason), I’ll have some sort of posting plan set and started.

Thank you all for your patience and understanding. This has been a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, one that is slowly getting back to normal. <3

Until next time!

Let’s Talk: Making the Choice to Step Away from a Fandom Hub – Why I Left the Discord I Was On

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

I mentioned in my review of 9-1-1 5×16 that I had more to talk about when it came to my feeling regarding the unintentional release of the 5×18 stills early. But this doesn’t really focus too much on the show.

No, this is about the Discord I was on.

Now, I normally wouldn’t talk about this at all, especially since the situation is over and done with (as you will see soon). However, as I have publicly supported this Discord server and talked about it here on my blog, I feel the need to bookend that. I won’t be naming or shaming anyone, just saying “the server” when referring to the server, and vague terms when referring to someone as necessary.

This is be the only time I bring up this topic in such a manner. Following today, if I have any reason to talk about the server, I will be brief and just barely mention it. I just feel it’s important to explain why I’ve been pretty late on posting things for the last couple of weeks. It all directly comes back to this issue.

Before we get to the fateful May 4th, we need to start the story back a bit further.

I haven’t felt comfortable on the server for a while now. Just something felt off. I was noticing that my comments and headcanons were being ignored or cut down. I wasn’t able to bring up an opposing point in a conversation, though others were allowed to push forward their own and those were taken as fact. In particular, I felt like I couldn’t be critical of two characters, both of which I felt were poorly written. But if I said something, I was given all sorts of hell. Or, it was implied that my personal feelings for a character impacted someone else’s headcanon of that character, and that the other person’s headcanon was more important. (Ignoring the fact that as a headcanon, it’s not canon. And at this point, this headcanon won’t be proven as fact anyway, because it seems this character’s time on the show is going to be done as of the finale.)

But I never really said anything about all this. For one, I honestly thought it was all in my head. There’s no way that a bunch of adults would do this, and I didn’t want to whine about it like a child not getting their way. But this had been going from the moment I stepped up into a moderation role, and seemed to kick up when I stepped back. (Which… I never mentioned on here, but my decision to accept the role led me to be gaslit to hell by someone I’d considered a friend, and me stepping away was seen as a betrayal to that person’s friends. It was all around a bad situation.)

Around the time I got good news for my job search, I decided that at the end of the season, I would be leaving the server. Yes, that would end up being a six week wait, but I figured that was the smartest thing to do. I wanted to see the season out. I was also trying to break my longest instance of writer’s block that I’ve had for a while, and I was hoping with the support of these people, I would be able to do so.

Things continued downhill pretty rapidly. My comments on episodes would be ignored, but then brought up verbatim by others and enjoyed. When I posted about the job search, that was ignored, until someone two hours later would bring up the same subject, and conversation would ensue. When I had a personal thing happen with my family (referenced on this blog, I’m not going into it), I got a “that sucks” message, then the conversation immediately shifted away to something complete different. (And just so it’s known, I always would make sure to post my comments or whatnot in the correct locations on the server. This wasn’t a case of me getting things wrong.)

It was becoming very clear that I was on the outside of the group, and the people I had considered to be acquaintances, perhaps even friends, just didn’t care. So, I firmly decided that I would leave on May 16th, or 17th if the conversation regarding the finale was decent.

And then, there were two instances that rapidly changed my mind.

First, immediately following the end of 5×16, everyone was talking about how great the Jonah twist was, and how it was so surprising, and no one could hate it. Well, me being me, viewed the storyline from a different point of view. As I’ve stated elsewhere, I found the storyline to be boring and formulaic, something done many times before. And so I said as such, but I tried to be polite about it. I was immediately and pretty viciously cut down, and flat out told that my wish for a “red herring” storyline was idiotic. Basically, no difference of opinion to the majority.

That was annoying. But like always, I tried to brush it off. I was still just going to deal with it and wait out the rest of the season, but then… May 4th happened.

As I mentioned in my review of 5×16, on May 4th, the marketing team accidentally released the stills for episode 5×18. These stills revealed that the characters featured in danger during 5×17 (confirmed in the promo) would be absolutely fine, or that there is a large time skip between 5×17 and 5×18. While the reveal of these stills already suck, it’s the fact that they were released instead of the 5×17 stills that was truly surprising.

While everyone on the server was cheering over the fact that we got the stills early, I thought of the marketing person who might actually get in trouble for this mistake, and for the casual fans on Twitter who perhaps don’t like to dive deeply into episodes, or pick apart every scene until the meaning of the episode is lost to wild speculation. They might happen upon the stills and have the suspense spoiled. (And it was spoiled, now that I’ve seen 5×17.) When I brought up the Fox employee and the casual fans, I was flat out told to can it. No one cared. I was wrong. And besides, the synopsis had already been released so my comments were “just there to bring the group down, and that wasn’t cool.”

I tried to defend my point, but it was clear that while I actually cared for people, the majority just cared for the show. Nothing else mattered. It didn’t matter that someone could have been reprimanded for once again releasing something relating to 9-1-1 early. It didn’t matter that there were already people making the same comments over on Twitter. Nope. Sucks for them, they should learn to be a part of fandom or get out.

And honestly? This mentality really bothered me. But, once again, I was pretty much about to ignore it.

But something weird happened. We found out that the stills were deleted from the marketing site, then restored, then the 5×17 stills were released. It was pretty clear that, yes, there had been a mistake that Fox was trying to correct, before realizing that the stills were out for everyone, so they might as well just leave them.

I summarized this on the discord (referencing tweets from the 911 News Twitter account. Only to be told that, great the new stills are here, I’m still wrong, just drop the stills and stop talking. And this was coming from a group of people, not just one. Regular members, and members from the various tiers of moderation.

At the same time, I was having a lovely conversation with someone in another part of the server, who was lamenting that they had just left their first server. I told them my philosophy: when it’s time to go, go. There’s a reason that you want to leave, and it’s totally valid. You can miss it, but you won’t enjoy forcing yourself to stay.

Which hit me like a ton of bricks. I was basically being a hypocrite. I was ignoring everything that I was telling this person to do.

So, I left. Without a word, without a trace.

I tried to message the head mod when I left, but the moderation team had their private messaging on lock down. So, I’ve settled for vaguely talking about it in the author note of my first fic in months, as well as two vague posts on Tumblr and Twitter, and now this. I made it very and blatantly clear that I wanted to talk about my issues with the handling of the server privately. There has been no response to those comments. The only comment I’ve received at any point since May 4th was a comment for on my newest 9-1-1 fic, where I was just told to “you do you boo”. I’m still trying to figure out of they were being sarcastic or not…

I’m 1000% aware that if one of them come across my blog and read this, they will argue about every single point. I could put money on it. But this is what happened from my POV.

It’s been a week since I left. The knot that has been my insides has finally eased. I survived watching 5×17 and 3×17 without seeing a myriad of comments, most of which would be people whining that their headcanons were wrong. (AGAIN). 

And I have to say? I enjoyed it so much more.

So, in conclusion to this long post, I say this. I’m discord-less and have one foot out of the fandom (at least, publicly). But at the same time, I feel fine. I finally feel like I can publicly talk about characters and storylines without having to keep the words coming out of my mouth respectful.

I feel like myself again. <3

Until next time!

(Quick note: the reviews for 5×17 and 3×17 will be up in the following days. Just needed to get this out first.)

Life Update: 2022 Is Already A Bit Rocky

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

Well. Hi. It’s been a while.

Almost two months in fact.

So, first, hi, I’m alive. It’s been a crazy start to the year. I know I said I wanted to do away with personal “rambly” posts, but I hope everyone will forgive me for this one time. There’s been a lot going on, and I want to just hit a bunch of it at once.

So, let’s start with the entire reason I stepped away. The day after I posted my review for Lone Star 3×02, I got an interview for a position that would have been amazing. And it went well! I was hired on the spot, pending human resources. I was warned that I probably wouldn’t hear anything for at least a few weeks, but to be ready at a moment’s notice. This position meant that I would need to step away from social media as a whole, which I started doing. Unfortunately, after a month of waiting, I got a letter from the human resources telling me that I had been disqualified from the position, due to a technicality. I had been warned about it, but it just ended up being bad timing. (The position ended up being eliminated a week later, so it honestly wouldn’t have mattered anyway.)

This honestly sent me in a massive downward spiral for a few weeks. I was so sure that I was about to start that I had done a lot to prepare for the role, and it just got ripped from me. It… wasn’t a good time. I credit the kind people on The 118 Discord for helping me calm down, and always to my immediate family for helping me get back on my feet.

I have another opportunity within a different department, one that wouldn’t be affected by that technicality, and I’m just waiting for a call back. But I don’t have my heart set on this one, so if I don’t get it, I’ll at least be okay.

That’s the biggest reason I’ve been away. I’ve also been suffering from some flareups from carpal tunnel, which I may have made worse by participating in both finishing up the 9-1-1 Bingo as well as Febuwhump. I’ll be doing full wrap up posts about both of those projects in the coming weeks (more information below).

And there’s the fact that my old headaches are back, which is an absolute problem. It’s made looking at a screen for long hours a bit of a problem, though I’ve come up with a few tricks to at least make it somewhat better.

I’m doing better now. I’ve resettled into a routine that allows me to take the time to write, but also sets aside the time I need to work, especially if I can land this new position. Which is why I’m back, because I hate leaving a project unfinished.

Something to quickly note. I spoke during my “Happy 2022” post about getting back into streaming. That’s still the plan, but I’m waiting a bit longer, until I truly know what’s coming next. Once I know for sure, the sidebar will be updated with new dates and times.

So, that’s the life update. But then there’s the fact that there are six episode reviews I haven’t talked about, along with a few book reviews, and some other posts that I’d planned on writing. And at least a good chunk of them needed to be done and posted before March 21st, because that’s when 9-1-1 comes back to screens and Lone Star moves to 9PM and my life is going to become even more busy.

That’s the plan anyway. My goal is to write my episode reviews (of which I have in short hand, just need to fully translate them into an actual readable state) every other day, starting tomorrow, March 6th. On the opposite days, I’ll be catching up on the posts that I’ve wanted to touch upon, whether they be book reviews, or updates to previous posts, or catching up on different challenges (or announcing a new one).

I don’t want to post twice in a day. I really don’t want to. The only time that might happen is if I get behind again, or if I finish a book before I have a space carved out on my schedule.

So. Yeah. Hi, Remy is back, things are slowly being figured out. Content is coming. I hope you’re ready to be along for the ride.

Until next time!

Happy 2022!

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

Hello everyone! I hope 2022 has been treating you okay thus far.

I ended up taking an extra week to rest up after the Christmas holidays. It was a long break, but it was one that was well needed. I’m actually feeling better and stronger and feel like I can just back into things. I guess I just needed to completely step away for a bit. I’m in a good head space.

So. What can you expect from this year on this blog?

My goal is to put out some more quality content, not just me rambling about things that are just interesting to me. That means I’m going to try to do more episode and scene breakdowns, more book reviews, and, and more writing content. Three things I really want to work on this year. I also will do wrap-ups for the various writing challenges I take part in, including wrapping up 2021’s amazing writing year.

On a more personal level, I’m really trying to stick to a couple goals to better myself. One of my biggest goals is to cut soda, which was a goal from last year that failed miserably. Last year, I tried to go cold turkey, had a massive caffeine headache, and basically gave up after two weeks. This year, I’m doing it by cutting back every week, until by the end of the month, I should be off of drinking it completely if things go well.

On the reading front, I’m doing the same reading goal as last year. I ended up getting burned out half way through last year, and barely got halfway to my goal. This year’s goal is 52 books, which works out to roughly a book a week. I’m already on my way to this, as I have one book read, and my next picked. I will be once again posting reviews of the books I read here on my WordPress account, as well as on GoodReads, and (for the first time) StoryGraph. I’m not entirely comfortable with the last one yet, but we shall see.

The writing front is looking insane. Just this month alone, I’m aiming for at least five fics. Then there is Febuwhump, and of course there’s Whumptober later this year. That’s not including the bingo fics I want to write (and will write when the next card drops mid year). It’s gonna be crazy, but I’m looking forward to it. I also want to revisit some old fics that I haven’t touched in years, including my FusionFall fics that ended up just existing in an incomplete void for the past several years.

And of course, there’s gaming. I’m trying right now to get a trophy a day, which has been going pretty smoothly thus far. I have a bunch of cheap games that I can use to get a quick trophy, as well as some major games that I ended up missing over the past few years. I’m hoping to match the amount of platinum trophies I got last year, or even surpass it. But… with more quality platinums, not just vaperware.

And finally, let’s touch on social media. Last year, I let a lot of it lapse during the middle of the year, but I started to get better about posting things as the year came to a conclusion. I started using Tiktok to put up some book and Lego Games related content, and I’m feeling good about it. I’m hoping to increase my presence on social media, primarily on TikTok, Instagram, and Twitter, during this year. And not just with random messages. Good, actually through out messages. I think it’s time that I get serious about it.

This also includes streaming on Twitch. Now, I basically stopped streaming about midway through the year, when my headaches got worse. I couldn’t imagine doing it on a consistent schedule while feeling sick. Well, one of the biggest problems I discovered is because I had to have bright lights pointed at me to be visible on camera. Because this was making it almost impossible to stream, I gave it up and basically shut down both my twitch page (which I’ve only been using to watch a few different channels) and my associated discord. Well, my goal by the end of January is to start this back up, but without the camera. I’m hoping that if I do that, I’ll be able to play for longer amounts of time. Yes, I do know it’s harder to get an audience, especially as a female gamer, without a camera on. I’ll have it, mostly for unboxing streams with Owlcrate. But I want to give this one more try. If I don’t just do it, I’ll probably never do it.

That’s about it on the goals/update front. Now, onto my posting schedule.

Because I took that extra week to get mentally ready for the year, I’m actually behind where I want to be. So, I will be posting twice on Sunday (this one counts), again on Monday, and on Tuesday, before returning to my normal Tuesday/Thursday schedule I was doing before Blogtober and Blogmas. I may also add in an extra post during the weeks ahead, but that is something that I don’t want to commit to right now.

I will warn you ahead of time, prepare to get a lot of 9-1-1 Lone Star content coming your way. Unlike with the OG, the marketing team for LS is on fire.

Or, rather, on ice, considering the theme of the first four episodes.

Anyway, I’m back, expect updates, here we go into 2022. Let’s make it at least a little better than 2021 (or God forbid 2020).

Until next time!

1,000 Movies and Not a Thing to Watch – Blogmas 2021

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

So… about watching twenty five movies this month.

I haven’t watched one.

I know, I know. I really shouldn’t have said I was going to do something, then go back on it. But really, I had all the plans to do it! The biggest problem is, I’m doing Blogmas, the 118 Advent, as well as applying for jobs, and handling so much here at home. Carving out writing time has been bad enough (I’m three days behind on Advent, which is something I hope to fix tomorrow), and something had to give.

I’m changing up what I’m planning in regards to the movies. It’s something that I’ll be addressing in my Goals for 2022 post. I still want to do something like watching a bunch of my backlog, but I need to do it in a better way. Hence, the change.

I will say that I do have some fun ones planned, and I plan to talk about them. It just needs to take a backseat for a bit.

So, yeah. Not the best little thing. But taking it off of the schedule has actually done some good for my mental health, so… progress.

Until next time!

Hair Cuts for the Holidays – Blogmas 2021

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I got a hair cut.

Yes, that’s what this post is about, deal with it.

The last time I cut my hair was around June, when I finally got a hair cut for the first time in nearly a year. It had been a long time coming at that point, and I was desperate.

Yesterday, Mom and I decided it was time to get holiday cuts. I was starting to complain because the majority of my side swept bangs were ended up just settling into my eyes, and she was sick of the straight cut I gave her (out of desperation, because she’d been worried about the Delta variant at the time).

So we went. For context, this was me, before getting into the chair.

(Yes that is a .hack shirt. What of it?)

I really liked the style of the cut, I just needed it trimmed. And that’s what I asked for. Basically, what style I had was more… Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban style. Or, at least, just a shorter version of what I currently had.

This… this is what I have.

I look like a school boy.

Okay, for argument’s sake, it looks good on me! Especially in person. It’s just not what I wanted. I didn’t want to have my hair this short. It’s too short.

I’m not mad about it, but I am sad. I knew my hair would be shorter when I walked out of the salon, obviously. But this style isn’t something I wanted this time around. I wanted to keep my messy hair. This style being so short means that it basically just lies flat.

So, yeah. Short little update for you today. Tomorrow we shall return to our normal content, I hope.

Until next time!

Two Points of Annoyance – Blogmas 2021

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

It’s not often that I get really annoyed at something.

Lately, I’ve been on an even keel. I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t given into anger, and I really haven’t snapped back at anyone, even when it would be totally deserved.

But two things have happened in the last 48 hours that basically broke that streak, and I need to get them out of my system so that I can move on and keep working.

The first? I dared write a fic that used a pairing that wasn’t traditional. In addition, I mentioned a scenario within the fic that wouldn’t be possible in real life. But this is fanfiction, so of course everything could be explained away. Right?

Well, wrong. The first comment I got on the fic was a sarcastic, “This is good, but” comment. Basically, a weak compliment, a massive complaint, and a sarcastic salutation. In short, I was wrong to write this pairing, and I was wrong to even suggest the thing that wouldn’t be possible in real life. Oh, and I should change it, because I’m wrong.

Now, I understand that not everyone likes rare pairs. I get it, and it doesn’t bother me all that much. Until I joined the 9-1-1 fandom, I rarely read the rare pairs in fandom. Instead, I would stick with the canon pairings, or whatever pairing was considered the most popular (Sterek would be a Teen Wolf example of the latter). Not everyone likes rare pairs. 

But I make a conscious effort to tag everything in a fic. That’s what I love about AO3’s tagging system. It’s so detailed. You can tag a little or a lot. I always make sure to hit main themes and anything that could be triggering. But I also make sure to tag the pairing. That way, if it is something I don’t want to read, I can scroll past it. 

For example, returning to Teen Wolf for this (since the only pairings in 9-1-1 I don’t like are ones that only have a story or two). There is a pairing for Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski (I can’t remember their pairing name). I’m not a fan of Scott, I think he’s a complete idiot and a terrible Alpha who puts himself first, his current woman of choice second, and the rest of his pack third (and half the time Stiles in last). So, I wouldn’t want to read any story that is based around the Scott/Stiles pairing. So, when I go searching for TW fic, I always exclude that pairing.

It’s so simple.

Now, I sat on that comment for a while. I didn’t immediately respond, especially since it came at 5AM, and I didn’t see it until 9AM. But around noon, I did respond. I was polite, but I know some fury came out. I thanked the person for their comment (because my mother raised me with class). I told the person that yes, I know what happens in the real world, but this is fanfiction, and I made a comment to it in the author notes. I also said that I would probably continue writing the pairing, and that I respectfully request that he avoid any and all of my fics in the future, lest he not like something else I write and write another rude comment.

But honestly, I was still seething. So I mentioned it on Discord. And one of the people there begged me to unfreeze the comment thread so that she could respond. She did so, in beautiful anger. And honestly the only reason I let her do it is because she is one of the major players in the fandom for that pairing, and I know she’s also gotten some heat for it. (It’s a pairing with consenting, over age adults, thanks so much. Nothing wrong here.)

It actually threw me for a day but I thought I got over it.

Until something happened on Discord last night.

So, someone put out a call to find out if our show had DVDs. I pulled up Amazon as I answered, as I knew that Fox had released season 1 on DVD, but couldn’t remember if season 2 had also been released (nope, thanks Fox you suck). I quickly typed out my response, and ended up scrolling on the page for the DVDs, down to the comments. And low and behold, I got annoyed.

The top comment gave the DVDs for the first season one star out of five. While I would be totally reading, as people are allowed to have their opinions on media, if the entire basis of their reasoning was because the show promoted equality. Seriously, the amount of homophobia in that comment was, in a word, sickening. They also took aim at the fact that the show was pretty open about sex, especially because it aired on a family network, therefore making it a family show. Dude, it’s 8PM on a weeknight on Fox. Shut up. But it was the homophobia that actively made me sick.

The fact that this was the top comment (and 13 people marked it as helpful) was disgusting. I reported it, but of course Amazon doesn’t let you write exactly why you think a review is abusive. Which of course means it won’t get pulled. 

So I mentioned on the same Discord thread that I wish Amazon still allowed comments on reviews, because I would love to comment on that one. Because it was a review written to be disgusting. The person I had been talking to agreed with me, and then we moved on.

Until someone decided that I was wrong to dislike the comment. Basically, I got told that if I didn’t like a review, tough luck. It was their opinion, and they were allowed to have it. That she (the person talking to me, not the commenter) was a book reviewer, and that’s just how the world was. That I was open to making my own review, but if I didn’t like theirs so much, I might as well not bother, as it would just open me up to being attacked for my own “beliefs”.

Well, I’m proud of how I responded to this. 

I commented back with basically this: “Sure. Okay, I’m stepping far away from this conversation. I don’t want to be rude and say something that I might regret tomorrow.” I then messaged one of the mods that was on and told them that I was stepping back, but that if something wasn’t said, I would be blasting the person come morning. I clearly had been talking about the blatant homophobia that was featured in the review, and that if this person was going to actively defend it, I didn’t want to be anywhere near them.

The mod did take care of it, but I’m still kinda annoyed. Yes, I became one of those people. I reported the comment for abuse, but I doubt the robot will agree with me. (Also, thanks Amazon for having a totally useless report button. Why can’t the reviewer have the ability to explain why the review is abusive and inappropriate?) I also tweeted at their help account on Twitter.

This just… set me off. I had to step back. And honestly, I’m glad that I did, because I’m in a much better headspace today.

Until next time!

So, About that Thanksgiving Post – Blogmas 2021

~ Liz Harrison ~ Leave a comment

Hey all.

So, this was origianlly a post regarding my less than staller Thanksgiving from 2021.

Do to some negative reactions, I’ve gone ahead and taken it down. I still have it, and I stand by it, but I better things to do with my life than have this in the back of my head. It’s called venting, thanks.

Instead, I just want to leave a quick note here. If you’re part of my “family”, please do me a favor and just stay off my social media. I keep it separate for a reason. I want a safe place to vent, to be myself, to not have to censor myself because of your arbitrary rules that you have for others. Do not search me out, do not comment. Forget I even have a presence on the internet. Your commentary on my life is unwanted at this point.

For my entire life, I’ve felt like I was the black sheep of the black sheep, just waiting for something I did or said to be the catalyst to being pushed out of the family. And I guess this is it. This is the hill I die on. And I just don’t care anymore. None of you were in my life until I was nearly twelve, when Mom’s side of the family finally returned, while my father was on his death bed. It was noticed, I assure you.

But ever since, I’ve been held to different standards. Maybe it’s because I’m stuck in a generation gap, but it’s true. At the unwanted “family reunion” when I was 18, when I was in the middle of college exams when everyone decided it was a great time to come, I was being pushed to be with “family” instead of studying, causing me to fail my first ever class. And even now, moving across the country so that my Mom and Uncle could finally be in the city they have always called their hometown, I’ve felt unwanted.

No more. Lose my number. I just don’t care anymore. I’m sick of walking on eggshells with every decision I make, every choice that I decide. I don’t want to feel like the Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head every time I open my mouth or put fingers to keyboard.

See ya, space cowboys.