Hey all.
So, this was origianlly a post regarding my less than staller Thanksgiving from 2021.
Do to some negative reactions, I’ve gone ahead and taken it down. I still have it, and I stand by it, but I better things to do with my life than have this in the back of my head. It’s called venting, thanks.
Instead, I just want to leave a quick note here. If you’re part of my “family”, please do me a favor and just stay off my social media. I keep it separate for a reason. I want a safe place to vent, to be myself, to not have to censor myself because of your arbitrary rules that you have for others. Do not search me out, do not comment. Forget I even have a presence on the internet. Your commentary on my life is unwanted at this point.
For my entire life, I’ve felt like I was the black sheep of the black sheep, just waiting for something I did or said to be the catalyst to being pushed out of the family. And I guess this is it. This is the hill I die on. And I just don’t care anymore. None of you were in my life until I was nearly twelve, when Mom’s side of the family finally returned, while my father was on his death bed. It was noticed, I assure you.
But ever since, I’ve been held to different standards. Maybe it’s because I’m stuck in a generation gap, but it’s true. At the unwanted “family reunion” when I was 18, when I was in the middle of college exams when everyone decided it was a great time to come, I was being pushed to be with “family” instead of studying, causing me to fail my first ever class. And even now, moving across the country so that my Mom and Uncle could finally be in the city they have always called their hometown, I’ve felt unwanted.
No more. Lose my number. I just don’t care anymore. I’m sick of walking on eggshells with every decision I make, every choice that I decide. I don’t want to feel like the Sword of Damocles is hanging over my head every time I open my mouth or put fingers to keyboard.
See ya, space cowboys.
