I swear my family is not allowed to have a normal Thanksgiving.
For 2022, my family and I made the decision that it was finally safe enough to open up our doors to allow a family friend to visit for Thanksgiving. This was discussed for a good long while before we made the decision to go ahead and let this friend visit. We knew of the risks involved, but we figured it should be safe enough. He knew our rules and what we did to stay safe.
Well, we were sure as hell wrong.
I’m not going to discuss the entire trip – that would take entirely too long and wow I don’t feel like being that negative this early in the holiday season. I will say that I’m purposely skipping on thing that happened on Thanksgiving, but I’m saving that for a good reason.
So, Thanksgiving dawned bright and cold. Mom and I got an early start on our stuffing for our bird, with our guest continuing his bout of making rude comments about our cooking skills and generally getting in our way whenever he felt like it. We got Herbert the Turkey in the oven right on time with no real issue.
During the open period between turkey in and putting the extra stuffing into to bake, the guest decided to go take a nap in my mom’s room (she offered). This worked to our advantage because we were able to get a jump on prep. We got the stuffing in and moved steadily right along.
That is, until I noticed smoke coming out of the oven. The butter that we use in the stuffing had leaked from the little stuffing packs and was dripping onto the bottom of the oven, burning and smoking up the entire main living area of the apartment. We quickly got everything out and threw flour over the smouldering butter to kill the potential for fire and quickly got the smoke out of the apartment.
Well, Thanksgiving dinner was obviously going to be canceled, right?
Wrong. Mostly because of Mom. Well, something that she likes to say.
Summer last year, we bought a grill finally, a small two burner gas grill for our little patio. It was just large enough to fit the turkey, leaving just enough room for us to baste and also bake a few extra stuffing packets as well. It was tight, but it worked.
Thanks to the scramble and the delay of getting the turkey and everything back on, we had the mad scramble to make and finish all the side dishes all at once. While my uncle sat at the table patiently and nibbled on the biscuits we put out, dear guest kept coming in, opening the fridge, trying to stick his fingers in the pans (without washing his hands) and just generally ended up getting enough four letter words thrown at him that I think I would have been adopted as a sailor if I had wanted to be and no one would have been the wiser.
We did get everything on the table on time. Barely. And the turkey got a little overcooked (cooking on the grill is a whole other beast). But it was good! Dear guest flat out said ti was tasteless, but he wouldn’t know good food if it came and bit him on the ass.
The rest of the night passed with cleaning and basically putting Thanksgiving away, and generally ignoring the TV since dear guest wouldn’t turn off one of the few shows Mom explicitly asked not be watched with her around. The request wasn’t honored.
(He also got us very very sick, so sick in fact that I’m still feeling the effects to this day, but that’s a story for another nightmare.)
I swear, I should just cancel Thanksgiving next year. It’s just not worth it at this point. I just can’t win.
Until next time!
