Back in December (December 22, to be precise), I made a post regarding an uncomfortable commenting situation that I was dealing with. This was actually the second post where I talked about this issue.
To quickly summarize the situation, I had someone make an uncomfortable comment attempting to “mansplain” something in a fic I wrote during early December, featuring a “Rare Pair”. I wasn’t happy about it, but I was polite in my response, basically writing that while I thanked them for their comment, I would probably be writing more for the pairing in the future, and I requested them not comment on any and all of my future fics, as I wasn’t comfortable with them commenting anymore.
And for ten days, they didn’t. I was okay with this. I didn’t miss their comments.
Then, they commented on another fic. It wasn’t a truly rude comment. But it was a comment attempting to push me into writing the sequel to the fic the way they wanted, with the fandom’s most popular pairing. It’s the tone that bothered me, and the fact that they felt they were allowed to dictate what I wrote.
As a quick side note, they have done this to many writers in the fandom. And I’ve been uncomfortable with it every time. (And I’m not the only one.)
So, instead of replying directly, as I thought my point across, I chose to do two things. On the next fic, I left a polite but firm comment in the bottom author note regarding comments that told the writer what to do, and how I wasn’t comfortable with it, and that I didn’t want them in my comment section. Then, as soon as the new year started, I turned on comment moderation.
Now you’re caught up on the situation.
Since December 22nd, this person has commented on a few of my fics, but usually just nonsensical comments that I just either ignored entirely, or straight up deleted. I have tried to not let it get to me when I see a comment.
Then, on February 13th, after I wrote a fic regarding the aftermath of 9-1-1 4×14 (where main character Eddie is shot by a sniper), I got this lovely comment (copied directly from the comment email:
Awww, so sweet. Who ever taught Eddie to hide his pain needs to be shot.
I wasn’t happy. The fic dealt with the aftermath of the shooting, with Eddie trying (and failing) to pretend that he wasn’t affected by the incident. So I was already uncomfortable. But what really annoyed me was the blatant stupidity to comment “X should be shot” on a fic about a character that’s been shot four times now.
So, in a moment of weakness, this is how I replied. (And yes this is unedited. But around this time, I was not in a good headspace anyway.)
Okay, no. Stop.
I'm literally approving this comment simply so I can write this. The constant suggested violence in my comment section needs to stop. Comments like this make me ridiculously uncomfortable, and any one that comes after this one will be deleted.
I literally put on comment moderation on JUST so I can screen comments like this. I don't want to have it on, but I do simply to moderate my own fandom experience. Please understand that I cannot stand this, especially when I'm already not in the best mind space, as I stated in the author notes.
At this point, just do me the favor and just skip my fics, as I've requested in the past. I think I can deal with the one less kudo or hit.
As you can see, I once again requested the person not to comment. I was clear. And then they had the balls to reply back (because of course they did).
I hear ya, I don’t like violence either, for me when I say something like this I don’t mean it literally, I was being facetious but I can see where that type of stuff gets lost in transition on the internet. I’ll try to be aware of it in the future.
So… Yeah. I was done. Don’t make stupid comments. I snapped.
I know you're being factious. It has nothing to do with being lost in translation. I just don't want you reviewing my stuff, okay? Period, end of story. If AO3 had a block button, we wouldn't be having this unwanted conversation, as I'd have blocked you months ago.
Take this as a lesson. The words you say can and do hurt. I'm not the only person who feels this way at this point. I'm done with this conversation. Any further comments from you will be deleted without being read.
I’m well aware I was kinda rude, but I was also done at this point. I’ve read so many comments from this person where they have acted so high-and-mighty, that I just snapped. I’m not proud of it, but it’s true.
I did get a reply, which I deleted after reading it (“How rude”), but I considered the matter closed. After all, I got my point across. Right?
Wrong.
Once again, a week or so later, I got two more comments. They were rather inoffensive, but at this point, I was pissed, because I made it clear I didn’t want them in my comment section, period. But AO3 doesn’t have a block button, and I’d done all I could at this point to keep them away.
So I took to the internet: Tiktok, Twitter, and Reddit, and asked the question: “How do you get rid of a commenter that just won’t get a hint?”
One of the Redditors came through for me. They suggested that I write up an abuse report as this was harassment. So I did. I was as clear as I could be. I made a point to emphasize that I was uncomfortable, and felt unsafe, and that I wasn’t the only one who had the same thoughts, though I couldn’t speak for anyone else. I just wanted this person to stop putting comments on any of my fics, regardless of whether they were above board or they were not appropriate.
I actually heard back within twelve hours. A member of the Policy and Abuse team at AO3 actually took the time to review what I’d written… and sided with me. All I am aware of is that the person is not to contact me (I’m assuming they emailed them, but I’m not sure). As an aside, I think they were also suspended from their account for a bit, as I noticed them making comments from a guest account.
I’m mostly satisfied with this. I wish it was a full ban, but beggars can’t be choosers. And until AO3 is able to implement their block button, this will have to do. Hopefully this is the last time I have to deal with this person, and I don’t have to make anymore updates.
Until next time!
