Something came across my feed today on Facebook that just rubbed me the wrong way.
Now, granted, I don’t use Facebook, unless it’s to reply to my aunt or to post funny pictures that are also posted on Instagram. That, and to look back on my memories. But I did use it for awhile. In fact, I was very much into the whole “Book Box” Group scene, and the “YA Books” groups.
But not anymore. Let me tell you about it.
Surprisingly, I never joined any YA book groups until probably 2016, when I joined Owlcrate’s group. I didn’t post much, but I used it to keep up with the next month’s themes, as well as find out about some of the other boxes that were out there. It was extremely active, to the point that I had to limit my time online since I could spent hours going through the posts and still not be caught up.
Book Box groups and YA Book groups are a dime a dozen over on Facebook. Most of them are pretty much the same thing. Book box groups are focused primarily on YA Book boxes (Owlcrate had one until about August of this year, for example). YA Book groups are dedicated to talking about different YA books. Yeah, they are pretty similar.
I swore off using most of Facebook a few years ago, after I joined all these book groups. Since I was staying mostly for family, I also would at least keep up with the book groups. I didn’t really post, or participate, but I was still there.
Slowly, one by one, I left groups. A few were because I was done with the whole “put one author on a pedestal, she can do no wrong” mentality. And no, it’s probably not the author you think. Another I just grew bored with. The Owlcrate one closed in a massive public fashion a few months ago.
One of the biggest reasons though was that I noticed something. I was getting major FOMO because of these groups. By that, I mean I wanted to read every book that they were currently spending hours posting about. More than half of what I bought on my “quarantine book list” was done by these suggestions. And most of them sit unread.
As of yesterday, I was still in three groups on Facebook. One is run by Epic Reads, an imprint from Harper Collins. And they run a tight ship. Another is for the “escape room in a box” that I take part in (I talked about it earlier this month I think). The last one was a generic “Book Box” group, where people would talk about the different YA boxes on the market.
Except. That last group had very much changed from where it had started.
Lately, the group was 50% whining that they hadn’t received a box that just shipped, the United States Postal Service basically in flames be damned. 25% was “Owlcrate is terrible”, regardless of what the real issue of the thread was. And for argument’s sake, most of those threads were people who had just grown to not enjoy the box anymore. But they would make it out like since the box wasn’t to their express liking, it’s horrible and needs to be ended and blacklisted. Yeah.
The last 25%? Whining about products. When I say whining, I’m not talking about legitimate problems, such as items arriving broken or missing from the box. I’m talking petty issues.
Take the reason why I finally left: someone ordered a bookish item, which I’m going to keep really generic so that I don’t get blasted. This item arrived, and there was a mistake in the text on the item. The way the person was describing it, I though the text was a large word that covered most of the item. No, it was a tiny word mixed in with a LARGE grouping of words, and a single letter was missing. Honestly, until they pointed out where it was, I never saw it. My problem was this: they were naming and shaming the company.
Look, you’re allowed to dislike something you ordered. And this person did, they felt that the item was wrong due to this defect. And that’s FINE. However, the way they went about it was nothing less than rude and inflammatory.
They wrote the company. The company offered them an percentage back, taking into account the size of the defect. The person said no, it’s a Christmas present, I want it fixed. And money back. The company said no, all the items came with this mistake. They finally gave a full refund. Did this satisfy the customer? Nope! Name and shame.
Like I said, be disappointed with the product. But you got the money back. It’s a two second fix with a paint pen or sharpie and some sort of sealer. There was no reason for this person to go nuclear.
Honestly, normally I’d just roll my eyes and scroll on. As this type of behavior, which I’ve been seeing more and more in the bookish community, is just boorish and disgusting. I’ve seen it too much lately. If something is your definition of perfect, it is automatically wrong and bad and time to do the lovely “name and shame” dance.
I’m just kinda done with it. If there’s a delay in something (which is happening more and more thanks to the backup with USPS and just general, oh I don’t know, PANDEMIC ISSUES), x company is the worst company how can they hope to stay in business blah blah blah.
So. What did I do when I saw this post? When I saw everyone backing this person in trashing this company?
I just left the group. I can’t take that mentality anymore. Of course, this was one of those Facebook groups that gives you an option to say why you are leaving the group, so I did. I generalized, but I told the truth. That the bookish world had changed, and how this group was handling the complaints was wrong. That putting companies on blast because of production issues was ridiculous. That not asking those who are showing this behavior to cool it (but not censure it) was causing issues in the community.
And now I feel better.
I know I’m in the minority when I say that I am not a fan of several of the “top” YA authors, or that I haven’t read most of the currently popular series. But I’m noticing a shift in the bookish community lately that I’m not exactly a fan of. If you’re not a fan of these things, you can’t state your opinion. Because if you do, you’re lambasted to smithereens. And it’s pathetic, and horrific, and really has no place in a community that used to feel so open and welcoming.
So yeah. That’s basically why I’m not in any bookish online groups anymore. I still have the one run by Epic Reads, but I scarcely touch it, except to talk about their monthly book if I’ve read it. But I’m done with this part of my online life.
Now if my book club could ever meet in person again, that would be a different story. (Please wash your hands and wear a mask and all that good stuff. I miss people, but I’m not being selfish and putting my family in harm’s way unnecessarily.)
Until next time! (I promise for a more happy post. It’s the holidays, damn it.)